Bored of all the “Florida Man” stories… Let’s focus on wack jobs in the 49 other states:
Clarksville, TN doing its best Florida. A man walks into a Walmart, buys some booze and then shoves a package of Trout in his pants.
The stealing fish thing was bad, but things get worse. The Trout-Taker starts peeing his pants.

Stealing and Peeing. BAD.
Police arrive and arrest David Wylie who admitted to everything.
2,000 bond.
Marc Jason